Blogging from my phone

That's right I am blogging from my phone directly from the blogger iPhone app! Also, pretty happy to have a Simpsons character of myself ;).

My thought for the day is that in order for something to be truly perfect, the details that no one sees must be perfect as well. That is something I've always enjoyed about new Volkswagen automobiles like the GTI, as well as Mercedes. Though they are great looking on the outside, the details of the interior engine no one sees is crafted perfectly! I've learned this with my magic as well. I can have the most expensive props or a brand new illusion, but if for some reason I have a table that is dirty, or an old prop it takes away from the rest of the stage. The same goes for organization backstage; the parts you don't see - organizing my props, writing scripts etc. need to be perfect as well as the show you see.

I like quality :),

-Hayden

Magic in your brain

Read this in an old book in the Thomas Cooper Library and thought it was pretty magical :).


Read this to yourself. Read it silently.
Don't move your lips. Don't make a sound. 
Listen to yourself. Listen without hearing anything.
What a wonderfully weird thing, huh?

NOW MAKE THIS PART LOUD!
SCREAM IT IN YOUR MIND!
DROWN EVERYTHING OUT!
Now, hear a whisper. A tiny whisper.

Now, read this next line with your best crotchety-old-man voice:

"Hello there, sonny. Does your town have a post office?"

Awesome! Who was that whose voice was that? It sure wasn't yours!

How did you do that?
HOW?!?!?!
It must be........MAGIC!

Hilarious Photo

Saw this photo up in the Anthropology department at USC after my lab, and thought it was too funny not to share. The note at the bottom reads

"I took this picture when I was living in Chiang Mai, Thailand and teaching English to monks at a Buddhist University. I was surprised to find when I walked into the classroom that the monks were presenting on the theme of things that were "Kick-Ass". Later I learned that the monks had picked up this saying from an English-speaking backpacker who had visited their temple. From their presentations, I learned that the monks thought many things were "Kick-Ass" including waterfalls, meditation, and speaking English"

Be impressive

After being in college for a week, I have witnessed so many people attempting to look "cool" in front of girls by using a lot of swear words. I have summarized in a few sentences how you should behave in terms of swearing...

Guys, try to avoid using swear words; not because they are too vulgar, but because it's a lazy man's vocabulary. A man isn't tired as ****, he is exhausted. He isn't ****ing sad, he is morose. Extended vocabularies were invented for a reason, boys - to impress women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do.

You Are What You Do

You are what you do

Imagine that your life is on the line. You are bleeding to death, and you need someone who is amazing at healing wounds (i.e. a doctor) to treat you and save your life. You would probably want that person to be a professionally practicing doctor, someone who does this every day. Imagine a guy now coming up to you assuring you “Don’t worry, I’m not an asshole like most people!” or “I have such a drive to do hard work” and that is all he says. You would probably say okay well what does that have to do with my bleeding wound and how can you help me?


At some point in our lives we’re one of those two people: the one needing that guy to save your life and the guy who is needed at that moment. The life saving moment was just an example, but imagine a situation you need help in right now that may involve other people - Maybe it is applying for a job, asking a girl out, being chosen for a movie part. All of these things are generally based on a person needing something and choosing the best fit candidate for that role. Let’s say that you are the person who is wanting to be chosen, not the chooser: 

What do you DO?

Who are you? Think about this very deeply. Think of 5 things most important about yourself, but here is the kicker: do not describe yourself based on your personality etc. (“I am a really nice guy!”) and do not say things you are not (“I am not some douchebag in a trucker hat”). Describe yourself based solely on only the things that YOU DO.

I spend my money as a construction worker on clothes and a gym membership

Your list might be 

1. I am a musician 
2. I am a runner
3. I make people laugh everyday 
4. I write blogs 
5. I make people’s lives better... etc.



Why is this so important to think about? It is because I keep seeing people deceiving themselves, and it is sad. We all have that friend who says “I am an actor/actress” and you may say “Great! What movies/plays/shows/pornos have you been in?” and they reply “well, none yet, I am just trying to find an agent...” They have nothing to show, and they are not an actor/actress: They are someone wishing to become something but have not made the right amount of effort to BE that. 

The cover for this book is gonna be awesome! When i finally write it..

Science has shown that when people get praise from their friends etc. for something they told them that they do, or will do in the future, they get the same rewarding feeling as if they would have actually done it. For example, “I’m gonna run everyday this week!” is just as rewarding to tell to someone as “Yea I ran everyday this week!," as far as our brain and mental well-being is concerned. Thinking back to the example with the bleeding to death, and you would probably be freaked out to have the guy who has talked about healing wounds for a living VS. the guy who has actually done it before.

What do you offer?

The world only cares what you can offer it. What can YOU offer that will make you valuable? So many times we hear that guy complaining “I don’t know why she won’t date me! I’m not a douchebag like that other guy...” If all you have to offer to the world is a bunch of faults that you don’t have, then please step away from me while im bleeding. There is someone else who is prepared for this job that would be happy to take your place.

When I tell people this, most people tend to either get very mopey and complain more and their problem never gets solved, but for a select few people, they “learn how to do surgery” to give it relevance to the wound example. It’s up to you, but don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for them because those guys have something to offer (i.e. mustangs and looking cool). “But I’m a great talker!” That’s great. But hey there’s another guy in the other room who is too, and he can play Ukulele. Saying you are a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you vomit. There is a reason why we all still eat at fast food restaurants knowing that the corporations are secretly evil: they offer things we like.

This douchebag gets money because he makes clothes people like... even though he's a douche

Stop thinking “How can I get a job” or “How can I get a girl?” and start thinking “How can I be the type of person a company wants?” or “How can I be the type of person pretty girls like?”. You might be asking “Why can’t I find someone who likes me just for me?!” The answer is simple. Humans need things; That victim is bleeding to death and all you can do is look down and complain that the wounds aren’t fixing themselves.

“But I’m not good at anything!”

Well here is some good news: throw countless hours of practice and determination into something and you can become very good at nearly anything. I started off as a crappy magician when I was 10 years old, and after years of dedicated, relentless practice all the time I became very good at it: I was not born like that. I know how to play 3 instruments because I would practice nearly everyday with them.
Think about how much time is spent consuming things other people made like TV, movies, video games etc and think about how much time you have spent creating your own. Only one of those things adds to your value as a human being.

Think about who you are on the inside and how it relates to what you do. Too many people give the naive answer of “it’s all about who you are on the inside!” While this is true, it only matters if those things on the inside help you accomplish great things. Do you feel bad for the people across the world who need fresh water? Good. Does this make you actually do something about those people like donating money? Or are you the thousands of people in church that say “Oh dear! They are in our prayers...” Stop doing that. Millions of people die every year because they were “kept in our thoughts”. Those thoughts do nothing. Stand up and give something that will actually benefit the world.

Get up and do something epic

Please do not take any of this as an insult to your life or others; this is criticism. I am just telling life how it is. A person has two choices: stay in misery, which is easy because misery is comfortable. Or they can stand up and climb a mountain to achieve great things. There are going to be people that you will meet on your trip to achieving greatness that will criticize you and try to hold you back. Your fat friends will tell you how useless your dieting is, your lazy friends will try to hold you from working. But they only tell you these things because they aren’t able to do it themselves; they are cowards. They would

rather trash your work than get off of their sofa and achieve their dreams as well. People are afraid of what others can do.

Richard Branson is the definition of DOING awesome things

In summation, for the next few months, maybe a year from now, maybe even days from now, try to do SOMETHING. Anything. A goal you want to accomplish. Make yourself DO something that will make you a better person. And my God, keep it to yourself until you have completed it. Become the someone that people need.
In summation, climb mount everest and don’t tell anyone about it: That is the secret to becoming awesome.

What a beast. Not even tweeting to let everyone know he's doing this

-Hayden 

4 Pieces of Comedy Magic Gold Hidden on YouTube

4 Pieces of Comedy Magic Gold Hidden on YouTube

by Hayden Childress

Recently I had the honor of staying in Atlanta with my good friend Kyle Jarrard for a couple days. We were planning on going with a group of magicians to see a magic show in downtown Atlanta, but sadly the show was cancelled because the magicians and the place they were performing at seemed to have communication issues because when the said magicians we were going to watch arrived to perform at the place they discovered it had actually closed down. Wow, what a waste of 3.5 hours of driving and premium gasoline that my VW GTI uses. Kyle and I felt lazy the next day and decided to get on my computer and watch magic videos. They started off great, and slowly, slowly, and surely turned into the cheesiest, crappiest, but most hilarious pieces of YouTube magic we have ever seen. Ladies and Gentlemen, these are the four funniest pieces of YouTube magicians we found.

#4 The Amazing Silks to Popcorn...Performed by the Gangsta White Boy

The crystal silk cyclinder is a really cool piece of magic that can allow you to transform, vanish, and change a huge array of objects cleanly, and visibly from far away. It is a great piece of magic that you can watch in any magic shop, and even after you know how it is done, still be amazed. Going on YouTube, you can find an array of videos of magicians performing it. Here is a video of a kid doing it for his video camera in his kitchen/theater.

< >

Absolutely nothing wrong with what he did or how he did it. Although wearing a shirt that says another magician's name might not get him hired to do that trick somewhere. This video is pretty okay to watch, but once you add in the music.... prepare yourself.

< >

Good God why is this video so hilarious. First off this is a trick where a silk turns into popcorn... not where a bullet shell casing turns into a bunch of $20 bills (Although that would be pretty sweet). So why does this kid start of his music with the lyrics "Oh shit, get your towels ready

It's about to go down" 
You then see an awkward middle class white kid appear from the back of his kitchen showing you a tube empty with no pizzaz whatsoever that he is about to do something super cool.

"Just try and figure this **** out"

He then stuffs that scarf into that crystal cyclinder like he just does not give a crap.

"Pretty soon this is gonna be some popcorn we can eat together at my mom's place ;)"

Then after a douchey gesture of showing the scarf in the tube

"Just try and stuff scarves as good as i do"

The music builds up even louder to show a tube filled with popcorn! And just in case if you weren't sure that there was popcorn in the tube...

I still do not know why I find this video so funny, but I think it has something to do with how non-chaulant this kid is doing magic, the fact that he is in his mom's kitchen, and all of that combined with the music blaring "Motha fucka" and "I'm on a boat!" while a middle class white kid performs for a camera on his kitchen counter just makes this into the list of my YouTube magic gold.

"Oh thank God! For a second I thought he owned the rights to the song. And it's a good thing he told us the name because it's not like the video says it 400x per minute"

And in case you were wondering, this is actually his original version. The first video above was the "edited" version that plays smooth alternative rock in the background. My guess is that grandma watched the video and thought this kid was a part of the magic Crips.

#3 Worlds Worst Metamorphosis

Ah Metamorphosis. One of the most fascinating illusions in the world to watch. The premise is simple: a magician is locked inside of a box, the assistant stands on top, and they switch places in a split second! Not only is this one of the most amazing illusions, but it is also one of the most performed (if not the most) illusions in the world. Just go on youtube and look up "Metamorphosis trick" and see for yourself.

Here is a video of me doing it a few years ago that I still have up on my YouTube page

< >

You can understand the idea pretty well. However, YouTube is filled with people who perform this illusion slower than AOL on dialup. One video that really sparked my eye was this one performed back in either the late eighties or early nineties (I can hope).

< >

There is so much wrong from this video that it would require a second blog for me to analyze the entire thing, so I will just give a summary.
First off, you can tell this was performed in the 90's because of that same song that literally every single magician used since Beverly Hills Cop came out.
Although, I think more importantly what everyone is thinking was WHY IN GOD'S NAME IS THERE A 45 YEAR OLD WOMAN WEARING THAT ON STAGE?!

SHIELD YOUR EYES

Aside from this woman being far too innapropriately dressed, this magic duo seems to have nailed the appearance of a cliche magic act from the beginning. Let's see if we can find a pattern to literally every other illusionist from the 90s...

1. Douchey Dancing

2. Glitter, sparkles, and shiny stuff every 2 seconds

3. Beverly Hills Cop Theme song... Check

4. Exxagerated movements all over the place that looks more like a fashion show than someone showing a box is normal

5. Overly inflated ego and value of one's worth... CHECK

Overall even before the magic actually happens this show is hilariously disastrous. What comes next is just gravy on the mashed potatoes..

nom nom nom

The part of the trick where the magician is locked inside of the crate while handcuffed etc. seems to have been cut out of the video. My only guess is that there was not enough space on YouTube to upload the dance he must have done getting locked into the box.

We jump right to the part that is actually magic, the amazing microsecond transposition between the assistant and the magician! Instead of getting a shot of the beautiful assistant standing on top of a locked crate with a small curtain, we get this

The only thing that could possibly make this trick even worse might be for a mysterious third hand to appear and close the gap above the woman's head but that would be, WAIT! Nope totally did it

Finally what was supposed to become a magical and impressive feat of magic where you blink and the assistant has switched actually turns out to be a woman going behind a curtain, and a man whose weight and ego are battling to be huger suddenly appears at the front

"Surprise! Didn't see that one coming"

The video of course ends with even more superfluous dancing and even more douchey magician head nods and poses.

I think overall what makes this video so great isn't just how bad the actual magic was, but how stereotypical this guy was as an illusionist. This is what happens when you treat a magic show more like a fashion show - you practice the dancing and coordination, you pick catchy music that you saw another magician use, but you couldn't care less how well the magic looked for the audience. And that, my friends, is how this awesome photo magically appeared in the video at 2:13 in.

Seriously look 2:13 in this appears for some reason

#2 Flirting With Magic with Michael Jeffries

Magic can be a useful tool when trying to talk to new people, especially the ladies. I usually tell people that my best pickup line is pick a card. However, I only wish I purchased this VHS series back in the 90s to help me even more. Please prepare yourselves for Flirting With Magic.

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Right off the bat you know that this video is going to help you pick up lots and lots of attractive women, I mean, just look at how nice this guy's house is and all of those attractive women in the pool with him!

"This watch is a rental...must...not...get...wet"

Possibly one of my favorite line's from this video would have to be...

"What else can you make disappear?!"

Look at that grin!

You can tell just how extemporaneously this video was made from a few scenes. Go to about 7:20 into the video and you hear this conversation actually happen.

Magician: "How about you meet me back here around 11 for a drink or so"

Girl: "Oh no no, how do I know you're not some sort of a weirdo?"

Magician: "Oh.... I'm not a weirdo...." (looks off in the distance)

You can see the shear look of horror in that woman's face as he looks away! I think the thick framed serial killer glasses might have ruined it for him. What makes this video even worse is that, despite his creepiness, she still says "well....alright!" Right after. We can only imagine that there isn't a halloween party coming up on that cruise ship, because I have a feeling that guy might be wearing her skin as a costume.

"What's handy about these tricks is that if you perform them as Michael Jeffreys demonstrates, they legally count as informing a stranger of your status as a sex offender. You can tell from his innuendoes that the closest he's ever come to getting sex with magic is hearing someone's mom flush a toilet at a birthday party. Here are some of my favorites: 

credit cracked.com

This magician is so bad I'd imagine he's just trying to get free pepper spray out of these women. But alas, this nearly made it into the #1 spot on this post until I came across the next YouTube Channel...

#1 The Appearing Goldfish from Sleight of Hand Expert and Magician Tom Gray

The appearing goldfish has always been an incredible trick in the magic world. The most popular performer for this trick is Mac King. We came across this piece of YouTube gold a few months back and it is still just as hilarious to watch as the first time.

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HOW DID HE DO THAT?!?!?!?!?! Not the trick, I mean how did he make a 20 second trick into a minute and a half video? 

Let's dissect and show my favorite parts of this video. We first see a guy relaxing in a chair suspiciously holding a martini glass filled with water. I only say filled with water because I know that goldfish appear in it in a second, and making fish swim in that would just be cruel. Anyways, he begins talking with

"Enjoying a drink...............after work today......... hmph jgrg ejf. Oh, there is something stuck in my throat, humph hmp"

As he begins coughing, he is covering his mouth. Yet, while he is clearing his throat of whatever is in it. However, despite nothing ever falling out of his mouth into the glass you suddenly see

"Oh my god, what came out..................................?"

I only insert the 20 periods after that phrase above, because there is literally a 24 second pause. Also, look at his face while he shows you the fish in the glass.

His face is just like "Yea...that's right! Those are goldfish! I'd like to see you do that!"

He then actually says "That's right......several goldfish..............." With this face

Not only is the magic bad, but the unnecessary, long, awkward moments of silence in this video just make it that much more funny. However, there is a reason why this video is gold. As you know, this guy is a "master magician and sleight of hand artist" so we decided to see other videos he might have as well. What we pulled up had us dying laughing.

When you click on his YouTube channel here you are not greeted with 4-5 thumbnails of him doing magic, but 101 videos, with about 90% of the thumbnails being big breasted women. Seriously, look!

101 videos, all of him doing magic. Somehow he has enough technical knowledge to get the thumbnail on the video perfect every time with a huge breasted woman on the thumbnail. Not to mention the banner is him posed next to a Ferrari with, you guessed it, a big breasted woman icon in the corner of the banner.

And there you have it. Lesson here is, if your videos aren't getting enough views on YouTube, put erotic photos as your thumbnail with your name labeled everywhere. You won't get much more views, but you will make it onto Hayden's blog as being one of the funniest pieces of magic on YouTube. Yay.

I hope you guys liked this, it took a lot of work to type everything etc. so please let me know what you think!

-Hayden

Check Hayden Childress (Haydini) Out at

www.haydenchildress.com

www.haydinimagic.com

www.facebook.com/haydinimagic

Twitter: Haydini

Instagram: Haydini

Brand New Blog! (Again!)

Brand New Blog! (Again!)

Hello everyone! Thank you so much for taking the time to actually read a post titled "New Blog!". With that being said, I am switching my blog for the second time to Blogger, as it is a lot easier to manage than on my old website www.haydinimagic.com/blog and it will give a much cleaner look/better interface for you as the reader! That means you can now leave comments and other stuff at the bottom of each post, so please tell me what you think :). 

I am blogging from my brand new Macbook pro. 

15.4" Hi-Res Anti-Glare display, 750 GB HardDrive, 8 GB RAM, 2.3Ghz intel quad-core i7 processor

(it's a very nice computer :D )

There is only so much I can blog about regarding a new blog, but I will try my best! I am making a transition from www.haydinimagic.com to the new www.haydenchildress.com . The new website has a modern design, and a much smoother layout than the old. Also, it uses my real name, but that does not necessarily mean that I will be ditching the nickname Haydini ;). Speaking of which, the brand new Haydini shirts are in! The shirts are now much more comfortable, softer, and fit much better. Also, we have charcoal and light blue colors, due to high demand. You can see the photos below :)

Baseball style shirts coming this fall!

Much better fitting shirts

Light blue shirts fitted for ladies, not Haydini

The shirts are available online Here. 

I have missed blogging very much, it allows for a much better flow of creativity :). There is something thrilling about being able to just write out a lot of thoughts and post photos of things I find interesting or relevant to what I am writing. Even though I know not many people will read this, I still find joy in writing it. I hope you can find joy in my future posts as well :). This post is primarily to get my blog started, so there isn't much interesting content in this post. I will, however, leave a picture that will get you thinking. Let me hear your thoughts :).

Hope to see some of you reading soon!

-Hayden