Friday, October 31, 2014

4 Add-Ons that would make Haunted Houses truly SCARY!


Happy Halloween! And welcome to adulthood where you now have the resources to buy an endless supply of candy, but you won't because you don't want to get fat.

My favorite thing about Halloween isn't the candy, or the insanely awesome costumes like my wolverine impression 

I like the Halloween activities like the haunted houses and corn mazes because I like to simulate death by startling and death by possible starvation. (I guess you could eat the corn.) However, I'd say that a majority of these places only go halfway with their ideas and activities. There are a few ways we can make these haunted activities 10x more awesome than they actually are.

They Know Your Name
Nowadays nearly everyone pays through a credit card, paypal, or even through their cell phones (looking at you Tim Cook). The great thing about that is the customers name's are on record with the receipt, and that's where the fun begins. Imagine you are walking through a dark room and a zombie says "I'm coming for you!" Eh not too scary. However throw in your name and you get "I'm coming for you... KYLE!" Suddenly these monsters are getting personal. Even if the house can't afford resources to figure out everyone's names, they can just use a generic name like Kyle or Steve. For most people it's just meh, but for people named Kyle and Steve its TERRIFYING!


Credit History
You are running down a hallway with a spinning tunnel with crazy lights. Suddenly, several sheets of paper are scattered in front of you. It's your credit score, and its way lower than you imagined!!! (Print score of 95 on sheets and scatter them). Now they face the fear of not being able to lease an apartment! OOOOO!


Due Date
You are walking through what is essentially a classroom. Lots of desks, colorful photos on the wall. And suddenly you see a message on the chalkboard... REPORT DUE TODAY! A line of other "students" forms in front and behind you and everyone is turning in very elaborate, nice reports into the teacher at the desk. (Even the kid who you always compare yourself to saying at least you're not them). Bring back that school anxiety on Halloween!


The Crappy Prom
A girl begins holding your hand, and she is in a nice prom dress. She says she can't wait for you to meet her parents! You walk into a room that is ornately decorated. Her parents are nice people! But they are judging you slightly (you just sense it). They tell you to wash up before dinner, so you go into the bathroom. However, when you go to flush the toilet, the water doesn't go down... It RISES! It doesn't stop until her dad barges into the room in anger. I can't think of anything more horrifying than this.


And that, my friends, is how we can improve haunted houses.

-Hayden


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